Top Ten Ridiculous Things About Copacabana...

Caitlin and I live a good fifteen minute walk out of town, which gives me some time to do serious thinking each and everyday. Most of this time is spent brooding over the loss of the Sonics. But yesterday I created a top 10 ridiculous things about Copacabana list, reading it over baffles me, so try and understand...

10. The heaps of 16 year old boys dressed in strict military fatigues who guard the ¨city limits.¨They spend the vast majority of their time cat calling girls and drinking soda, not to mention their all important, and quite serious task, of checking all cars for drugs. Though they are more interested in watching the WWF matches they have on loop in their offices. The Bolivian military, hooray!

9. The three women who neighbor the store, on the main drag of town, all sell the exact same product. Giant, football sized, popcorn called pasankalla. It's kind of like large, stale kettle corn. I hate it. Caitlin likes it. They women hate each other (as you can imagine, competition is stiff) and have a ridiculous rivalry all based in giant popcorn. The drama therein is worthy of its own short story, to be certain.

8. Walter Polma (the town's main drug dealer and owner of I'd say 60% of the lake view real estate) drives a sweet sweet minivan. Guess narco traffickers in Bolivia are not as fancy pantsed as elsewhere.

7. The fact that we live on a giant lake, notorious for its trout (which is, sadly, farmed) and there is absolutely no fishing industry here. Though tourists ask about it daily. Logic is not really en vogue here.

6. There's no ATM (millions lost), but there is a loopy, bar owner named Macarena. She's ten times more lively than the dance.

5. Walking to work at 8:50 on a Monday morning I'm almost certain to pass a group of older men and women sitting on the side of the road, an empty bottle of vodka and beers scattered around them as they sit in a bizarre and uncomfortable silence with one another. Drinking hard before nine on a Monday. And who said people here are lazy? That's serious dedication.

4. The Bolivian Navy. This country is land locked. There's probably not a lot more to say. They don't really know how to row, and don't have any engine propelled boats. Again, the Bolivian Navy. And this is only number four.

3. There is a town tradition of blessing vehicles in front of the church. It's sacred and yada yada, but really it's just pouring beer and champagne on car engines and the seats inside. Guess, if you aren't drinking at nine a.m. you may as well douse your car in alcohol. Just to, you know, get that engine in prime condition.

2. The first week Caitlin and I were here we went into a restaurant for lunch, and the only person in charge (I shit you not) was a child in diapers, who could hardly speak. I would say the vast majority of the shops are run by children 12 and under. I mean, there are a lot of soap operas to watch in a day. You can't expect mothers to be in charge all day, not when there is adequate 2 year olds to do the work for you.

1. This kills me...the children just had a 3 week winter vacation. Acceptable, but a bit ridiculous as the kids here only go to school three or four hours a day at the very very most. But, since no one here really likes to go to school anyway, and since there is plenty of drinking to be done by the teachers, and the kids have restaurants to run, vacation was extended a week. But get this, the reasoning was...wait for it...some mornings there is frost. Yep. Frost. No school on account of frost. (Koreans and Japanese children are weeping) The weather here has not changed more than 2 degrees Fahrenheit since we arrived in March. It may have gone from 41 to 39 on a chilly night, but the days are still t-shirt and shorts ready, with nary a cloud in the sky. Yet, they cancelled school for a week, because of ¨frost¨which may or may not even exist. Ahh Copacabana, working hard at being ridiculous.